GUIDE


THE STAKE - Ever popular, this weapon of choice was invented in the 16th century by monks living in the Carpathian Mountains near Transylvania. It has been said that there's nothing more comforting on a cold winters night than sitting by an open fire while whittling an oak post to a piercing point. That, along with a necklace of garlic cloves and a house filled with religious icons has been known to keep a young virgin unspoiled* well beyond her marrying years. NOTE: The stake is not recommended for picking teeth or clearing toejam. By "unspoiled" we mean free of all supernatural and vampiric influence. Virgins wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform or tempting a suitor with a garlic heavy, romantic repast may fall victim to an altogether different form of "spoiling". HOLY WATER* - The vampire slaying order of Catholic priests known as S.E.C.T.T. (Secret Ecumenical Counter Terrorism Team) were the first to discover the corrosive, flesh searing benefits of using this blessed liquid in their battle against the evil dead. Though rarely a means of eradication, it has been frequently used by slayers seeking to divert the attentions of the unholy enemy. Nine-out-of-ten vampires agree that holy water not only leaves unsightly scars, but stings like a mutha. FIRE - According to the newly revised version of Malleus Malificarum, vampires are the consistency of very dry kindling. WARNING: Desiccated preternatural creatures are highly combustible. Always use caution when igniting the living dead. Flame retardant clothing is recommended. DECAPITATION WEAPONRY - Once the head of a vampire has been removed from its body, it is no longer a threat. However, a demonically possessed severed head absolutely must be separated from its body at all times. It is recommended that the head be contained, preferably in a chained and locked metal box. Failure to take such action will enable the head to reunite with its body and regenerate. Just about any metal blade can be used to achieve this desired dismemberment. An ax, sword, scimitar or a saber is preferred, but a less formal weapon such as chain-saw can also be effective. EXCALIBUR - This enchanted sword is legendary. It was forged by an unknown supernatural force during the reign of King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot and can not only be used to lop off the head of a vampire, but also has the ability to obliterate their dark hearts with much the same effect as a wooded stake. Did I mention that it cuts perfect julienne fries every time? AND for a limited time (eternities end), this sword also comes with a map showing the sacred location of the holy grail along with a Chef's hat that boasts the silk-screened slogan "It's good to be the King!". But that's not all--if you act now, you'll receive a chain mail tunic (one size fits all) and magical paring knife. These are just a few ways to rid oneself of the creatures of the night. I hope they prove helpful. For further information, refer to the NIGHT TRIPPERS GN (ISBN: 1582406065).

THE STAKE - Ever popular, this weapon of choice was invented in the 16th century by monks living in the Carpathian Mountains near Transylvania. It has been said that there's nothing more comforting on a cold winters night than sitting by an open fire while whittling an oak post to a piercing point. That, along with a necklace of garlic cloves and a house filled with religious icons has been known to keep a young virgin unspoiled* well beyond her marrying years.

NOTE: The stake is not recommended for picking teeth or clearing toejam.

*By "unspoiled" we mean free of all supernatural and vampiric influence. Virgins wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform or tempting a suitor with a garlic heavy, romantic repast may fall victim to an altogether different form of "spoiling".

HOLY WATER - The vampire slaying order of Catholic priests known as S.E.C.T.T. (Secret Ecumenical Counter Terrorism Team) were the first to discover the corrosive, flesh searing benefits of using this blessed liquid in their battle against the evil dead. Though rarely a means of eradication, it has been frequently used by slayers seeking to divert the attentions of the unholy enemy. Nine-out-of-ten vampires agree that holy water not only leaves unsightly scars, but stings like a mutha.

FIRE - According to the newly revised version of Malleus Malificarum, vampires are the consistency of very dry kindling.

WARNING: Desiccated preternatural creatures are highly combustible. Always use caution when igniting the living dead. Flame retardant clothing is recommended.

DECAPITATION WEAPONRY - Once the head of a vampire has been removed from its body, it is no longer a threat. However, a demonically possessed severed head absolutely must be separated from its body at all times. It is recommended that the head be contained, preferably in a chained and locked metal box. Failure to take such action will enable the head to reunite with its body and regenerate.

Just about any metal blade can be used to achieve this desired dismemberment. An ax, sword, scimitar or a saber is preferred, but a less formal weapon such as chain-saw can also be effective.

EXCALIBUR - This enchanted sword is legendary. It was forged by an unknown supernatural force during the reign of King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot and can not only be used to lop off the head of a vampire, but also has the ability to obliterate their dark hearts with much the same effect as a wooded stake. Did I mention that it cuts perfect julienne fries every time? AND for a limited time (eternities end), this sword also comes with a map showing the sacred location of the holy grail along with a Chef's hat that boasts the silk-screened slogan "It's good to be the King!". But that's not all--if you act now, you'll receive a chain mail tunic (one size fits all) and magical paring knife.

These are just a few ways to rid oneself of the creatures of the night. I hope they prove helpful. For further information, refer to the NIGHT TRIPPERS GN (ISBN: 1582406065).